My heart sunk when my husband told me he was getting deployed to the Middle East. Upon hearing the news several months ago many thoughts and questions raced through my mind: Why does MY husband have to go? I’m not cut out for this. 10 months of separation, you’ve got to be kidding me. When I said “I do” I thought that meant we would be doing life TOGETHER. I thought we were pulling out of the Middle East. Our marriage is in such a good place God, why would you want to ruin that?
As I wrestled with these thoughts and questions leading up to my husband’s deployment I continually heard a calm voice say, “Trust Me Sarah, I am enough.”
I am sitting in the quiet of my living room as little ones sleep. This pregnancy has led me to eating lunch around 10:15 rather than noon. So as I unashamedly finish off a plate of spaghetti by mid morning, I sit here thinking about this new little one that has continued to grow inside me.
The gift of children has been quite the journey for us. For two and a half years God has lifted my eyes to trust him as he tells me that his ‘word is upright and all his work is done in faithfulness’ Psalm 33:4, a life giving verse for me in the midst of a trial that wanted to suck the life out of me.
As we first kissed our firstborn and buried him into the ground in the same week, the Lord stood guard over my heart from the hungry sins of bitterness, anger, and hopelessness who were always tempting me in my hours of sorrow. But The Lord stood in my sorrow, loudly declaring for me that if he did not spare his own son for my sin how could he also not provide me all things?